I was so hoping that I would find the answer to this age-old conundrum, but here's what the Charmin site has to say about how to hang toilet paper:
Q. Is there a right way to hang the Charmin roll on my holder?
A. There's no right or wrong way to hang the Charmin roll. Some people prefer that the sheets roll over the top toward the front. And others prefer that the sheets roll out from the bottom toward the back. We'll leave that battle up to your household!
Let's parse this out for a second. If you aren't going to take a stand on the subject, why include it in the FAQ?!?
If you study the bear family (and why would you when I'm here to do it) you'll see that they hang their paper in the "over" position. So Charmin is in fact taking a de-facto stance on the argument.
How would you like to be the poor yutz who has to write the copy for the Charmin site? How many compromises do you make before you sell your soul for that job? It's a slippery slope. You start off with describing the efficacy of Tide on grass stains, then you move onto greasy build-up for 409, then, finally, you move onto Charmin. How many dreams of Pulitzers die with each Q&A in FAQ?
If this isn't the most inane use of the alphabet, I don't know what is:
Q. The plies on my Charmin Ultra are not lined up, it’s not tearing in the right place.
A. If the plies on your Charmin Ultra rolls aren't lining up, here's how to fix it:
- Hold the roll in front of you with the paper winding over the top
- Pull the top ply up and drop it back behind the roll
- Its perforations should match with the layer that's now on top
- Tear away the excess and you're good to go
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These are the complaints of the people who are strictly "one square per visit" kind of people. 1000 squares, 1000 visits to the bathroom. Some of these people still have toilet paper rolls they bought back in 1984.
ReplyDeleteI don't trust someone who claims to use one square per visit. Because I know he's a liar, which begs the question, "what he is using for the...uh...residual, as it were?"
Personally I believe that if you're not consuming a roll a day, you are a heathen!
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