We Shall Overcome

I think the lack of diversity in the Bears’ realm is appalling. Look around, all you see are bears. No other critters of any kind. “But wait!” you might exclaim, “there is a duck.” I’m sure that Leonard (Papa Bear) would be happy to inform you that “One of my best friends is a duck.” We’ve been hearing that pandering crap for years. And just how is this friendship manifest? The duck is offering Leonard a better way to clean shit off of his fur! Why not just have the duck stand outside the bear's cave with his wing out, like those lawn jockeys that one sees in old neighborhoods?

Charmin Bears Al Rescante!

So Papa Bear and the Bear Cub are superheroes. Keeping the world safe from toilet paper on your ass! I feel safer already.

Am I the only one who on the lookout for sexism in commercials? Why is it always Choosy Moms and parenthetically Choosy Dads who choose Jif? Why is it Mom who’s queen of the laundry? Why is it the boys who are the toilet paper sentries? It’s not fair!

I’m sure that Mama Bear and that Prissy Amy Bear could be just as good as the boys at spotting the dreaded “paper bits” on the tail ends of people and of bears. But no, they are stuck back at the cave, more concerned with toilet paper softness than they are with toilet paper strength.

Now, trust me, I understand that softness is important. There’s nothing worse than a chapped ass when you’re trying to get through your day, but I can’t remember the last time I used 400 grit sandpaper in the john.

So the girls represent softness and the boys represent strength, albeit in towel capes.