There's a limit

The Charmin bears seems to be focused on parsimony when it comes to using the aforementioned paper. I don't know about you, but I really don't want what I'm wiping coming between what I'm wiping it with and my skin.

Why is Papa Bear so cheap when it comes to handing out the squares? Is he influenced by Sheryl Crow? (The singer, not that nasty grackle hanging out by his trash.)

You'd think as a corporate spokesbear that he'd have an ample supply of bog rolls, but there he is, in the can with the kids, segmenting out the tissue like twenty dollar bills.

I suppose it's a dad thing. He's forever lowering the thermostat, turning off lights and grumbling about waste.

I really don't care what he says though. Nine squares isn't going to do it. I need more than that.

As my mom used to say when I was a kid, "Do you eat the damn stuff?" No. I use it to wipe my ass, and I'd like to do a good job of it. Thankyouverymuch.